Accidental overdose of joy- RIP True Blue

I've been running around like a mad person. Working my ass off and making little progress and juggling things like bills, appointments, debts and tasks and miraculously, people have appeared to take me through the tough times, even as I have attempted to extend my hand to help those close to me through trials.

Tonight while running family errands with my partner, my niece called me in a panic. At first I thought she was telling me that one of the people in her house was hurt, but eventually I made out through her tears that the family dog had injured himself and that she thought that his neck was broken

I told her I was on my way and we detoured in her direction, which was what I have been doing all week anyway... starting on some routine task and detouring toward big fires that need fighting to control. I called the 24 hour vet hospitals to make sure they were open as tonight's blizzard was just beginning in our neighborhood and I called my niece back to tell her to find a board or a door to lay the dog on so his neck could be stabilized. She told me that my mom and sister were at home giving trying to give the dog CPR (they are both registered nurses) and I told her to try to find a board for them to lay him on once the CPR worked so we could move him as soon as I could drive there in the snow.

A minute or so later I got a call back from her asking where the veterinary hospital was, and I told her we would take him to UPenn which is across town. I was very close to her house I assured her and told her to still try to find a board to stabilize him. As we pulled in front of their house, I saw my sister's husband and her trying to load a blanket into his car. I guessed that he beat me to their house and got out of the car to find out what was up. My sister was crying hysterically and saying that we had to hurry because he had stopped breathing. I halted the proceedings at that point, saying that if he wasn't breathing there was no point in trying to drive him to a doctor across town, and that they should take him back into the living room to say goodbye.

In wondering what went wrong that a dog my mother was napping with an hour earlier suddenly was zipped into a sleeping bag dead on their floor I learned that he was joyfully excited that my sister was going to take him out for a walk and was dancing around the living room and dining room of their house where he slid across their laminated floor and hit his head on their fishtank , which caused him to fall to the floor and howl in pain for a good few minutes until he lost conciousness. So his last three or four minutes of life was spent in agonizing pain that the all family members in the house (I am still not clear on when my sister's hubby arrived on the scene) heard and witnessed.

But prior to those tragic final moments, he was filled with joy and anticipation of pleasurable time to be spent with those he loved. And if one is to have a tragic accident, is it not better to have it with loved ones present and trying to save you than to die alone with nobody to hear or care for you.

And, life being fragile as it is, it could happen to any of us, at any time. A freak accident and you, or somebody you love is gone. As we gathered around the cadaver of one of the world's most lovable dogs, there was crying, remembering, reliving those last frantic moments, my mother reading a Hebrew prayer.

At one point, my sister asked my niece to text her sister to tell her they would be late to pick her up from work. We offered to drive over to pick up the younger niece and offered to take the older niece with us as she was hyperventillating at this point and clearly needed some air and a change of scenery.

My younger niece works at McDonald's and took some time to finish up working. Her sister stood outside and cried a little which caused concern from an elderly patron. When the younger sibling got the news, she started to cry too.

My elder niece had started to bake brownie's for a friend's birthday when the accident happened. She was still distraught and I suggested that we stop somewhere and buy baked goods for her friends party and maybe some comforting food for the rest of the family. We got chocolates, strawberries and flowers for the family and cupcakes for her birthday friend.

When we got back to the house Blue (the dog) was still tucked into the sleeping bag, which was unzipped enough to show his head and his favorite toy that was lovingly placed beside him. My oldest niece left in the snowstorm to bring cupcakes to her friend (that's all the baked goods the supermarket had left in the snow) and I made sure that the family agreed to keep this news from my father until he gets home safely from his factory job that ends at midnight (I am waiting for his call right now) before we slid home in our car.

After only an hour or so of snow, the ride home was pretty rough, so I texted a plea to my eldest niece to stay at her friends tonight. As soon as I hear from my dad, I will hopefully, finally be able to rest in piece with the spirit of Blue tonight.

I have yet to write an obitituary for my own Hoochie Minh who died last April, but I owe it to her to remember her even as I decompress from the family tragedy of tonight.

Other than this things have been tough for my partner, but better for me with the recent appearance of some angelic guardians and guest stars in my professional drama.

Here's hoping that we all find rest, relaxation and love sooner rather than later.